Let Go and Let God.

Earlier today I caught myself stressing about various things around me, and I quickly got overwhelmed. Between bills, birthdays, sickness and relationships it was simply too much to think about at once, and definitely beyond my limit to even begin to solve. Typically I am someone that can manage well when under stress, but these topics were different. Since we’ve had our daughter I have been staying home to take care of her. I am truly blessed to be able to raise her and be there for everything that she learns and does. I would not trade it for anything, but it has been a hard transition for me to stop working and making money. Thankfully, my husband’s job allows him to be able to support our household, but the fact that I’m not contributing financially has taken a toll on me, even though I know I am contributing in a way far greater than money.

In the midst of thinking about that, I remembered that today was my grandpa’s birthday. While this is a good thing, I realized that it wasn’t completely happy for me. My grandpa is in good health, and at a young age considering he’s my grandpa, but because of the number of people that I have lost, birthdays have become a day of fear for me. Fear that they may not celebrate another year, and fear that we may not get to celebrate with them again and how hard that would be to go through. I know that this is an awful way to look at birthdays, but it is something that I have been struggling with for awhile. It seems that on that subject I can’t stop the negative thoughts from flowing. Needless to say, we celebrated with him and had a good night visiting!

Sadly, however, there are a few people (family and friends) that have been dealing with those they love fighting sickness. Some of them have reached out to me for help in prayer and advice, and others have just kept me updated with what they are going through. While I gladly pray for them and their families, I can’t help but feel like I’m not doing enough; like there’s something more I should be saying or doing for them. I’ve been in similar times as they are in now, and I don’t wish that upon anyone. For me, it’s hard to know that I can’t fix what is wrong. I can’t heal someone that is ill, or mend the heart of those that have lost someone.

As I was thinking about that I began to think about what I could fix. There were a few friendships that I had lost over the past year, each for different reasons, but all that I wished hadn’t ended. Those were something that I could possibly mend, or try to at least. Maybe I could apologize for things that I did or said. I could extend the olive branch and try to rebuild the relationship. It may or may not work, but I could at least try. That is, if it meant enough to me.

All of these thoughts were running through my head earlier today. A chain that lead from one stress to the next to the next. In a matter of 5 minutes I had managed to jump from bills to relationships and felt slapped with a wall of fears and worries. But I caught myself! I recognized the thoughts while I was having them and I stopped! Just then the television show that had been on in the background stood out to me, as if it had gotten loader, and the lady on tv said, “Let go and let God.” I froze for a minute, and I’m my head screamed “YES!”. That was my solution to everything I had been thinking about. There was no way I could feel better about any of the things I had spent the last 5 minutes focusing on because I wasn’t putting my stress into God’s hands. All of the fears and negativity I had dwelled on up until now has absolutely NO benefit! It prohibited me from being productive with my day and myself. All I needed to do was to let go of the fear, worries, stress, negativity and LET GOD TAKE CONTROL!

I’m not perfect, and there’s a lot that I worry about and doubt. But if I want to change that I need to let go of all of it, and let God! Maybe some on you can relate to me on this. Maybe we can be on this journey together because I know that I am not the only one that needs practice at this!

So next time you catch yourself stressing out, scared, or doubtful stop.

Let go and let God, Gypsies!