Sitting here on this gorgeous, sunny day in California (yes, it is in the 70s in winter here) I can’t help but think about how truly blessed I am. I have a loving husband, amazing daughter, and supportive friends and family. God has blessed me with so much already, and I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve all of this. It’s truly refreshes my spirit and resets my mind to just think and focus on all that I have been surrounded by.
It’s times like these when I find myself wishing for loved ones that I have lost to be back here with me, enjoying all of this. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends. I wish so many of these people would have been able to meet my husband and hold my daughter. I know how happy she would make them feel. I wish they could be at family BBQs with everyone or go on vacations that never happened. I would feel so complete if only they were here, but they aren’t. And they won’t be. And what I’ve come to understand is that it doesn’t matter how many times I pray or cry out in sadness. No amount of anger or want is ever going to bring them back here. But I wish so deeply that they could be, even if it was for a moment.
The truth is, though, that this is my own selfishness. Everything that I have just said or think is based on “I”. “I wish…I want…I know…” Truthfully, all of those that I have lost were sick. They were in pain or unhealthy. They weren’t their true selves towards the end. So to wish for them to be here still would not be a blessing for them. It’s a selfish thing for me to want because it is not what they need. I know in my heart that they are where they are supposed to be now, today. And even though I wish they could be here to see all of the blessings happening, I need to realize that maybe it was a hidden blessing that those loved ones aren’t here anymore. They may not be in my presence here, but it’s because they are in the presence of God. They have experienced the ultimate blessing, and honestly, they are waiting for me to join them up there, not the other way around.
I truly don’t think that I am the only one that is selfish like I have been. It’s a natural human thing to wish for loved ones to be back. But we aren’t just humans; we’re Christians. And as Christians we must remember and focus on all of the blessings around us. We must be selfless and enjoy all that we have in this moment. We must remember that we all have blessings every moment, even if it’s a simple heart beat. Selfishness is not a way of life, it’s the opposite. It prevents us from living now. But it is a difficult habit to break, and I believe that it is something that we will fight until the day we join our loved ones Heaven. We will always have moments that we wish someone was there, but in those moments we must remember that they are blessed with something even greater than here. I hope that some of you can take something from this, and maybe even spread the message.
We’re all Chistians and we’re all brothers and sisters. Have a wonderful weekend, and safe travels, Gypsies!